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iamthekingofsassgard:

Do you ever just look at someone and think
“I’m glad your parents had sex”

(via zackisontumblr)





Everyone: If you keep listening to your music so loudly you'll be deaf by the time you're 20
Me: What




capbuckybarnes:

boys like ’ you only play games to get boys to like you!!!! youre not a real fan’

ah yes when i was five years old and i started playing on a n64 all i could think of was ‘im going to get so much dick for this’

(Source: connnorkenway, via buttlicked)





stability:

I wish my wallet came with free refills

(Source: stability, via buttlicked)





cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

(via buttlicked)